The new VH1 reality show, “Tough Love” with host Steve Ward is one of the most popular examples of a coach in action. Using his expertise as a matchmaker and his uncanny ability to see through people’s bull, Steve makes life and relationship coaches everywhere proud! He’s brutally honest, but with a purpose. The direction of his criticism is clear. Get a clue, make a change and then get what you really want!
Life coaches are exposed daily to the same types of self-defeating, self-sabbatoging behavior that Steve constantly encounters from the ladies at his bootcamp. Depending on a coach’s particular style, a client may experience a similar type of “tough love”, a nurturing encouragement, or a mixture of the two. Depending on the type of client and the goals that he or she has set, a supportive “cheerleader” tone may be necessary, or at the other end of the spectrum, a swift kick in the bum! Steve appears to have mastered both sides of the coin.
With each episode, we see the ladies working through issues when encountering each new exercise. Their current view of themselves, their sexuality, their past and their future all play a part in the decisions they make. Many of the women are struggling to let go of previous rejection, loss and pain. Steve is sensitive to this, while still exposing them to the reality of their situation. They are becoming their worst enemy. The person standing between each of them and a fulfilling relationship is each of them!
The beauty of the show is it takes into account that people learn habits, attitudes and behaviors in different ways. Simply being told that their current processes aren’t working for them just isn’t enough. The ladies have to be shown as well.
At the end of dates or social events, feedback is collected from the potential suitors. Steve’s comments don’t seem to affect bootcamp participants as much as hearing what the gentlemen who have interacted with them have to say. It’s tough realizing that your view of yourself is not often shared by others. By offering the “male perspective” in its purest form, Steve shows the ladies that there is more going on than what they choose to see. By taking them outside of their own little universe and exposing them to “reality”, they are shocked and goaded onto the path of enlightenment.
The job of a professional life coach is very similar. If what the client is doing is working for them, then outside help is not necessary. However, once the realization comes that a little extra help won’t hurt, it’s only successful if clients are then open to the process.
Experiencing growth is always that place just outside of our comfort zones. But if someone truly wants to be successful at whatever he or she sets his or her sights on, then it’s pivotal to focus positive energy on the journey.
“Tough Love” is a testament to the hard work it can take to accomplish what really matters. Steve Ward is a testament to what life coaches experience with their clients, showing that we too are personally invested in their success!
I enjoy the show immensely and hope that each of these ladies realize how fortunate they are to have someone like Steve taking the time and energy to help them develop new programs and strategies to achieve true love in their lives!
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Hats off to you Steve!
